Consider the scene: maybe 399,999 other people partying around him when he hears a message coming from towers of speakers, telling him his presence is required at the "Information Booth."
Best as I can figure, there are two basic scenarios of what happened next.
- Alan hears the message and immediately becomes concerned for the well-being of his friend, "Jim," who failed to heed the warning about the brown acid and is now being restrained by some second-year med student to keep from hurting himself. Alan finds "Jim" frantically watching the faces of those around him melt into gelatinous puddles of eyeballs and lips, while Alan soothingly assures him that it will all be over soon and everything will be ok. Meantime, Grace Slick is singing "...and the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all....."
or....
- Alan has managed to get some precious time away from "Jim" who is a total jerk but wheedled his way into riding in Alan's VW bus by offering to buy all the beer they needed, since he just got paid from his stock clerk job at Montgomery-Ward. While "Jim" was wandering away from their campsite complaining that he needed to find a clean Port-O-San, Alan met Carla, a voluptuous redhead with decidedly liberal morals and two ounces of Nepalese temple hash that could render one amenable to being run over by a front-end loader. Alan barely heard the stage announcement as his ears were rather effectively ensconced between Carla's heaving bosoms. He manages to mutter something like, "Fucking dickwad, serves him right," before his words are stuffed back into his throat by Carla's tongue.
What, you may well ask, is the reason this matter deserves contemplation?
Because we are all Alan Fay being summoned to the information booth.
Because the "seminal event" of our generation on Max's farm was simply a huge party with great bands, followed by four decades of making impossible decisions and responding to events that no one could possibly have envisioned.
Because the information booth is now being run by guys like Lindsey Graham and John Boehner, who couldn't care less how bad your bummer is. To them, it's your own damn fault for having a bad trip, even though they made a bundle selling the acid, while getting to screw Carla in the bargain.
Caveat emptor...and happy anniversary.
My computer illiterate brother (the Alan Fay) says "he did not drive in a VW bus - it was a 67' Camaro convertible (that I wish I still had) and Jim was actually named "Mark". Plus there was Phil and/or Pete (thet are twins & I was stoned). Unfortunately I never even heard the announcement when it was made (I was in a tent with fellow stoners smoking Hash - Carla may or may not have been there) and did not actually hear the announcement until the album came out! Needless to say, I was wondering where Mark disappeared to and had to babysit them once I did find them. But, I am still alive & well & living in Florida. Wish I could have made some of the anniversary trips and maybe would have been mentioned in another announcement on another album! Who know.... maybe some gracious benefactor will invite me up for a free trip to the 50 year reunion concert."
ReplyDeleteThis was a hoax. Barry Fey (concert promoter) had a son named Alan. Alan wasn't there, but Barry knew they were making an album of the concert and he wanted to get Alan's name on it. Very clever; promoter's mindset.
ReplyDeletethen you had better go and edit the Wikipaedia page on Barry Fey, that says nothing about his involvement in Woodstock.
DeleteBarry was there but his sone was not. The story about the info booth is CORRECT according to Barry (RIP)
DeleteAlan Fay, you are not Alan Fey!
ReplyDelete"It's a bummer, please..."
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I am Alan's sister, and he was in fact there. It was not a hoax. See my brother's comment above: "My computer illiterate brother (the Alan Fay) says "he did not drive in a VW bus - it was a 67' Camaro convertible (that I wish I still had) and Jim was actually named "Mark". Plus there was Phil and/or Pete (thet are twins & I was stoned). Unfortunately I never even heard the announcement when it was made (I was in a tent with fellow stoners smoking Hash - Carla may or may not have been there) and did not actually hear the announcement until the album came out! Needless to say, I was wondering where Mark disappeared to and had to babysit them once I did find them. But, I am still alive & well & living in Florida. Wish I could have made some of the anniversary trips and maybe would have been mentioned in another announcement on another album! Who know.... maybe some gracious benefactor will invite me up for a free trip to the 50 year reunion concert."
ReplyDeleteAimee, I am not doubting that "Alan Fay", your brother, was there, but the Alan Fey that Chip Monck read over the PA was referring to Barry Fey's son as "Anonymous" reported.
DeleteWell, all I can tell you is that on July 13, 2003, NYC and the Northeast experiences a very large black. I, together with several thousands of others slept (or tired to sleep), on the streets outside Grand Central Station. Being the wack job that I am, every so often I would shout out, Alan Fay, Alan Fay...I do not know what anyone who heard me may have thought, but I got a kick out of it.
ReplyDeleteI would have gotten the gag! Well played.
DeleteThanks and I have a neat proposal: Who Repairs House Windows cost to remodel entire house
ReplyDelete